Most people wait around for fate or the cosmos to decide what they will do with their life and who they will meet. I decided that I was feed up with what I was being given and decided to put (mainly) my dating life into my own hands.
Respectfully I just turned 40 and No this wasn't and isn't some mid life crisis, but I was and am feed up of meeting dumbass teenage jerk offs or over arrogant and bolsey athletic types who thought the world evolved around them. I had previous been in a 2 year relationship where I had been suppressed and emotionally beaten into submissiveness, all this before a 10 year relationship of that same that my confidence had all but warned me it would pack up and leave if I didn't get my shit together now. I decided I deserved more than that and if I was going to continue to let fuckwits demean me and decide my fate, I deserved all the crap I was getting.

I took to a site that was aimed at meeting friends and language exchanges, since I live in a foreign country, I thought that this would be a good place to start. Needless to say, I had a more than a few people contact me but more than often and as with any dating/friendship or what other fake image they tend to brand these apps, I had more people whom either couldn't read or choose to ignore my specifications in my profile information.
I had lots of "hellos" and "how are you's?" which were often instantly followed by  "Do you live alone, do you have a boyfriend, are you married?" "Are you attracted to Asian men?"etc. It was clearly stated in my profile that even though I was new to the city, I just wanted to find friends at this stage. Finally I gave in and also started to consider that maybe I could met someone I was attracted to so I took a chance with 2 guys at first...on 2 separate occasions I hasten to add!
The first one took me for coffee and before I had even manage to sample the flavor, he proceeded to say that he needed to get up early so could he drop me home. I insisted I could take the subway but he said it was the least he could do (and in someways I mentally agreed). I want to point out that I felt safe and had taken all the information I could beforehand to get him selected in a line up if required, so I let him drive me home. He parked, opened my door and walked me to my apartment block....then proceeded to try and grope me at the front gates. When I politely refused, he was taken aback but then shock my hand like we just finalized a business transaction and left. Needless to say I didn't hear from him, for over a week before he started asking me why I didn't answer his calls. The second guy was a bit better. He took me out for dinner and spoke about how he wanted to learn English as he hoped to move to Cambodia and work in his uncles business. He was older than the last guy (34) and already had his own franchised gym business. He was comfortable to talk to and very easy going with a gentle voice. He on the other hand, dropped me home and didn't make a move but asked to message me. He did when he got home. I was him a few times after that but I found that all we talked about was learning English and him selling his business to now go and work with his friend, selling mobile phone contracts? He wasn't stunning or necessarily my type, so...what made me sleep with him after a few dates. I don't know, maybe comfort, as neither of us where big drinkers and actually preferred to hang out eating Ice Cream and watching TV Host shows on the internet. The experience was pleasant...hmmm yes, pleasant is the word I would use to describe it. He was honest enough to say he wanted to have a relationship with me and see what would happened in the future but he made the fatal mistake that I am often experiencing here in this country. On the two occasions we were intimate, he showered and left. The first time he said he had to get up early (he left just after 11pm) and the second time, he appeared to leave somewhat after we were intimate, had showered and eaten ice cream but he wanted a second round and I was just too full...from ice cream that is. He proceeded to tweak my nipples, which I truly hate, but he obviously thought this would be a turn on for me. When I said I felt a little tired, he smiled politely and said, he better go because I wanted a round two and didn't want to bother me if he stayed. So, staying around and sleeping in and having breakfast wasn't a option. This could mean anything, he had commitments like work or an appointment or was tired but for me it just raised the "I have somewhere or someone to be with so I better go" sirens. I went overboard with my calculations after that and noted that we only had dinner dates on week days apart from 1 Saturday and this made me uncomfortable so I preceded to let that fire burn out on it's own, by being a pussy and only offering weak answers or politely declining to meet as I had "other commitments".

So why did I continue to stay on there (the app)? To be honest it had only been about 4 weeks in and I'm not looking for marriage and kids, but also not looking for a serial rapist/murderer or STD Carrier.
Moving on ahead about 5 to 6 weeks later, I decided to go out on a limb. Here's the senario. I started talking to 2 guys. One guy is working and studying Law. He English ability is advanced and proficient and he sounded articulate, funny and open minded through our text communications. Guy number 2 was very easy going to talk to, runs he's own business and believes in working to enjoy life and not necessarily for the money. I liked the sound of this as I had previously been working for the money....very good money and gave it up because I just couldn't find any happiness with it or the person I was with for numerous years. Anyway, I make plans with them both, let's call them Mr Clarke Kent and Mr Men's Health Magazine ^^

Clarke Kent

Model Shim Jae Geun: Mr Men's Health...Just a representation!

On a Friday but found that I actually  double booked myself and would have to make a comprise or and sacrifice. I had decided to meet a Clarke Kent for dinner after work since I could finish early enough to go and enjoy. Honestly without realising, I had arranged to go to the movies with Mr Men's Health that evening too. Time was limited to all three of us, so as I mentioned I didn't purposely try to double date but thought it would be polite to explain to Clarke that I had a previous engagement that would require me leaving after 3 hours of our initial meeting time. I felt this was sufficient enough time to just meet for a chat over a very simple dinner. I also gave him the option to cancel if he would have preferred. He didn't prefer.

He texted back saying he was completely fine with it and just wanted to enjoy meeting up for dinner, so I felt guilty but relieved by his honesty, as for me this read that he knew I had no intentions of going back to my apartment for him to inspect any possible pillow case fluff intensely that I may have had (I don't blah!), if you understand. Anyway I finish work and I bomb it to a popular town in the city as it's a neutral meeting point for both of us. For a Friday night it probably wasn't the best meet up choice as we decided to meet outside the heaving and popular subway station exit. I arrived 3 minutes before the scheduled time and spent 5 minutes in the ladies toilet (had to fight my way to the mirror to fix my face and the wash basin to wash my hands, considering the ladies that all used the toilet but hardly washed their hands but felt it crucial to fix their lipstick and foundations ewwww) anyway, trying to look like I wasn't recently sardined into a carriage of sweaty, old people and arrogant young people. I waited outside the station and watched and male and female duo, him playing a traditional drum as she sung a traditional song. People as usual went past me, feeling the need to invade my personal space regardless of how much I tried to integrate myself into the wall. I texted Clarke and informed him of my arrival. He instantly texted back saying he would come to met me from the restaurant. Now I did what I now find a common practice when meeting a guy for the first time. I secretly look out for him and when I think he is approaching, I look away. I don't know if this is because I want to be pleasantly surprised, or scared of the possible disappointment. Well for me, personally, I wasn't disappointed. He looked like his pictures except with a shorter haircut than I expected. What was the look? Well, tall ish, about 5,11, cute smiling eyes and a beautiful smile and without sounding crude and very good outlined body physique. He wore blue jeans and a grey fitted (well it may have originally been normal) t-shirt and strong black rimmed glasses, and yes there were real lenses inside of them ha! Anyway he introduces himself and then politely guides me through the throw of people down the street a few meters, where we then stop outside a posh looking eatery. He show's me that he arrived on his motorbike (parked outside the restaurant and proceeds to put something in the storage) and then tells me that he thought he's original suggestion of Kimchi jiggae was a bit inappropriate for a first meeting. I personally had been syncing myself up for the Jiggae but who was I to turn down the invitation for a steak dinner...and No, not because he was buying but because I hadn't had a steak dinner since leaving Australia.

Aloft Gangnam

We enter the restaurant and he guides me to the table where he had been originally waiting. He goes through the menu and suggests a set meal which will give us the benefit of steak, salad, and a choice of pasta, risotto or goulash plus a glass of red wine each. It sounds like a pretty god deal to me so I agree. He places the order and then we precede to talk about ourselves. At this stage I won't divulge as I could be getting ahead of myself like I always do and I'm not sure how things turned out, but we talk and laugh, a lot. He is extremely easy to talk to and funny. He tells me he has similar interests to mine and I honestly start to wonder if this is because he just wants to make a good impression or he is genuine. We talk about music, hobbies, travel and life expectations and dreams. He's determined and smart and expresses himself extremely well, of which I find very attractive. Though when he talks, I can't distinguish whether he feels an attraction or is simply looking for foreign friends. So I ask him, why he decided to join the app (before he gets the chance to ask me). He tells me it's because he wants to meet foreign friends as he feels he gets on well with people from all over the world. Might sound cheesy but I admire his enthusiasm. Surprisingly he doesn't ask me the same question, but "how is my experience with the app?" so I tell him about the young fuckwits and decrepit pensioners thinking that I am desperate for a bed buddy. Sorry, I was very diplomatic on how I worded it though. Dinner came and he served and turned the steak, cut it and place it on my plate like a 3 year old child/ caring partner, delete as appropriate. We talked and laughed more and people probably looked at us constantly nodding, laughing, snorting and high fiving like a frat couple after mid terms (not sure why I said that) anyway, he politely reminds me that I have an appointment and that I may need to go, and he's right it's already 10pm and our 3 hours are up, but I'm actually disappointed. I could have made some excuse to stay but then Mr Men's Health had traveled over 1 hour to meet me so I should make an effort after all I'm not obligated to anyone, right?

Then Clarke softly says that he's enjoyed our dinner and my company and even though I have an appointment, considering it's friday night, would I consider going to a jazz club with him AFTER my appointment? He found my company charming and my personality witty and also found me attractive. Say what now, yes, he threw me a curve ball. I told him I would probably be about 2 hours so it would be inconvenient for him to wait around for me like that but my man insisted on waiting. He said he would happily wait as he wanted to share the experience of us listening and enjoying the club together. Now what dumbass is going to complicate matters more by agreeing to this situation...me, that's who....please don't get me wrong as I don't consider myself a hoe, but who in their right mind turns down two pieces of Oreo Cookie Cake!TO BE CONTINUED